The Search for Joy: Healing Depression, Cancer, and Finding Our Way with Noleen Mariappen

On today's episode, we head over to the United Kingdom to connect with entrepreneur and humanitarian Noleen Mariappen who shares how she has healed through the hardships of life, from growing up in South Africa, apartheid as a nonwhite person to big business wins and total losses to healing cancer.

Referenced in the show:

Noleen’s app: inspirationalways.com
Wayne Dyer drwaynedyer.com
Michael Dooley tut.com/About/mikedooley
The Power of Focusing: A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing amazon.com

Noleen’s Biography

Noleen is an accomplished serial entrepreneur, driven by a desire to make a meaningful difference to others- personally, professionally and in community. Her business interests therefore all have a positive social impact element. She also continues to consult with companies, keen to ensure that her ‘head is always in the business game,’ predominantly helping businesses at start-up, sort-out, or growth phase. She also supports individuals more widely through coaching and mentoring, employing the mind-body-business approach. Her philanthropic interests are of exceptional importance, and she founded the Inspiration for Good Community Interest Initiative, a strategic, sustainable way of supporting non-profit efforts.

inspirationforgood.com
insta: @iamnoleen
fb: facebook.com/noleen.mariappen

Full Transcript

Sarah Marshall, ND: Welcome to heal the podcast. On today's episode, we head over to the United Kingdom to connect with entrepreneur and humanitarian Noleen Mariappen who shares how she has healed through the hardships of life, from growing up in South Africa, apartheid as a nonwhite person to big business wins and total losses to healing cancer.

I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Marshall.

Noleen, thank you so much for being here, and

Noleen Mariappen: No problem at all.

Sarah Marshall, ND: This is really just about us having a conversation and you're getting an opportunity to share. Some of your story, particularly in the context of healing. You know, my assertion is, is that healing has become a bit of a four letter word in conventional medicine and even our life, like healing's, messy healing's got tears and grief and skin rashes and discharges and all kinds of things that happen for people. And, and, It's not a conversation I feel like a lot of people are talking about it. We love to share the heroic results after we've been through the process.

I'm really interested in getting to capture for some people, like on the ground what it was like when they were confronted with the challenge and going through it and coming out the other side. So thank you for being willing to give us a slice of your life and your heart.

Noleen Mariappen: No problem at all. And what's really interesting about this and what you've just, sort of the precursor to this that you've just laid out is that I've been interviewing a few people regarding business success, and that's exactly what I'd said to them.

I said, what I'd want to, what I really wanted them to share was the journey to it. And sorta the low points and how they got past those lowest points and how they got through it, because it's always about, or very often nowadays about the success story. And you know, how people have succeeded and, and it's, it's very similar.

I think a lot of people who are going through the pain and are in the process of healing and overcoming, what they really need is to be able to. Reach out and see that there are other people in the same or similar position that they're in and see that there's a way out of it. because sometimes it's, it's very hard to see beyond the point that you're at.

And with social media now I know everyone's happy and excited, and you know, everything great is going on, and, and people sort of post the, you know, the best moments of their lives. And, and I say this with a caveat because there are of course, well, some people who share every aspect of their life and some people who sort of focus on the negatives, and it's often the case that you don't get that balance and you don't really see that, you know, people are sort of trialing their way through trials, really.

And for me it was very, very similar. I, my background, I'm from South Africa. I come from very sort of humble beginnings and didn't realize how humble they were until I left, and sort of you know, moved on to other things and went to university, and so that people lived in a very different way. I always laughed about part of my upbringing and I'm remembering very fondly how my older brother and I used to, go out and find where the neighbor's chickens had laid their eggs so we could steal them for dinner because we didn't have any food.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Oh my gosh.

Noleen Mariappen: I know it's so, it's so when I'm looking to work with people in business partnerships, so I always forewarn them that I'm a thief and  (laughter)

Sarah Marshall, ND: Oh my gosh, this just reminds me I have to share a story. I don't know what we're going to turn this into making it mean, but when I was a kid, when I was about three, we had a gravel driveway, and like we lived in the farmhouse, that was the main house of the whole area. And it used to be just like that house and land.

And then eventually the neighborhood grew up around it and we had this gravel driveway and I apparently would go out and spend like an hour carefully choosing specific rocks out of the gravel driveway. And I would wash them and I would lay them in the sun and dry them. And then I would leave the yard and I would go to my neighbors and I'd sell them to my neighbors.

And there was one day where like my mom couldn't find me. I just disappeared and I came back with like $1.36 in my pocket and she's like, how did you do that?

So there's been this long standing joke about me in business, how like I've been a natural salesperson since I was 3 years old when I convinced the neighbors to give me their pocket change for rocks.

I think I was more in the world of trying to figure out how I could go buy candy at the local store, not so much having to feed my family. So it was a little different context, but...

Noleen Mariappen: Oh, but what a creative young mind. I love that story. That's wonderful. And also you had the cute factor at 3 so  (laughs)  

Sarah Marshall, ND: Just bat my eyelashes and they'd give me their pocket change in exchange for rocks that they had their own backyard. It was great. I literally think I could sell ice to Eskimos, like I think I could find a way.

Noleen Mariappen: That's wonderful.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Oh my gosh. So,

Noleen Mariappen: God, I'm actually crying right now

Sarah Marshall, ND: So, let's just go ahead and, and get, get right into it.

Noleen Mariappen: yeah,

Sarah Marshall, ND: that was your upbringing and you grew up in South Africa and then where did it go from there?

Noleen Mariappen: Yeah so, grew up in South Africa, went to university, which was, was very different. I mean, also I grew up during the period of apartheid. So, being nonwhites and, and being sort of segregated. So the only people I knew where people are, they're very similar background to me and apartheid ended when I started university and I was exposed to this whole new world, and wasn't just in terms of education, was also in terms of culture. And, at university, I actually, you know, there were a number of things which happened. And, that was my sort of first encounter of being in a situation where I was just bombarded with so many new things. And amidst all of that was a new way of feeling.

And I, I suffered from depression at university. and it was, it was sort of 95, 96, still a relatively new thing in terms of how people related to it. And I recall someone very close to me telling me to snap out of it. Because that was the mindset, you know, that you were, you were, you were feeling down.

And it got quite bad and I went back home and a lot of people now are quite shocked by this because I, my parents took me to, to the hospital. They were really sort of struggling financially themselves, but you know, had to make something work and were trying to fix me, if you will. Went to see psychologist and a psychiatrist and they recommended electroshock therapy.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Wow.

Noleen Mariappen: Yeah, exactly. So, so I had electroshock therapy, in the mid to late 90s and it was horrific. It was just, I was just completely numb both from the medication and from the therapy and there are still a huge chunks of my life—cause it affects your, your memory—and there are huge chunks of my life that I just don't remember.

So experiences with other people, movies, songs. So movies, I know I've watched and I just can't remember a single thing about it or experiences I've had where it's sort of like a vague like a dream where it's, you know, I sort of know that it's happened and I just can't make out any of the detail around it.

And I went back to university after that and even though in sort of medical terms, I was fixed there was still so much more, to heal. You're like, you, you'd spoken about that healing process and how it is messy and drawn out, and, you know, it's, it's, it's not just a quick fix. and I had to find ways to get through it because I, I was surrounded by amazing people and I didn't want to bring them down because that was very much how I felt that if I was, I went through days where I was feeling low. It sort of brings everyone else around you down. And now you often have, I can't remember what exactly the term is that people use, energy vampires.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Mmm yep I've heard that one.

Noleen Mariappen: Yeah, I  didn't want to turn into one of those where I felt like my mood was going to bring down other people. So I sort of focused on work and threw myself into exploring opportunities and looking at the world beyond me and looking for any source of inspiration that I could find. and it was really just living vicariously through... Not, not necessarily other people that I knew, so taking inspiration from people that I knew, but also looking beyond and looking at what was possible and reading about other people who'd experienced really difficult things in their lives and trials and had gotten beyond it, and focusing on that positive.

And it really was every single day waking up and finding to start with just one positive thing and just one thing to be grateful for. And one thing that was going right. And this was sort of admist working three jobs and getting through uni and everything else. And and with every day it got easier, so it got easier to find the positive things. and then one day I would just have a terrible day. It was, I just don't want to get out of bed. but there were things, you know, there was sort of forces beyond me that dragged me to bed. It was like, well, if you don't get out of bed, you can't go to work. And if you don't go to work, you're not going to get paid and get paid.

It was that, you know, the knock on effect and the chain reaction that would be in place and that sense of perspective. And I know that, you know, for me at that point it was a little easier because, even though it was difficult, I could still get out of bed and go and do what I needed to do. But I know that there are so many other people who it is just the hardest thing, and they actually can't, you know, they can't.

But for me personally, it was that sort of the building blocks of every day getting up and initially just looking for that one good thing. And then it's, it's with every day that passed, it got easier and easier to find good things and to get a sense of perspective of what was right for me and in my world. And it's strange because. ya know, it's a, what I'd gone through was this chemical imbalance, you know, initially that that's what caused everything. And, and so really, I mean, you, you'd probably know more about this than I, but, but you know, a lot of. Doctors would say, well, it would, it would take correcting the chemicals to bring it back on track and that sort of thing.

But for me, I found that changing, like those gradual changes in my mindset and how I was thinking about things started to correct that. Yeah. And it's been a very, very long journey. But right now, every day I wake up and I feel that I can do more and I get up with the motivation and the excitement of being able to do more and accomplish more and make more of a difference.

And if I think of myself back then, I would, especially at the outset when I, when I had to go back home and when I went through the treatment, I would never have thought that it was possible to be who I am now. And if someone had said to me when I was, you know, sort of lying in that dazed state after any of my treatments, you know, and sort of showed me a video clip of what was possible of my life. You know, I would have said there's absolutely no way on, in heaven or earth or anywhere else that that would be possible. but yeah, so that was sort of my first healing experience and journey. I mean, I don't know. Is this sort of the type of thing you're looking for?

Just please feel free to ask me whatever

Sarah Marshall, ND: I will, I will. No, I mean it, it absolutely is, and I'm going to ask a few more specifics of like in that, I mean, I got the mindset shift and I got, you got access to looking for something positive and in gratitude, you did mention that there were like books and things you read and some stories that guided you. Can you point to any of those? Like specifically what, like what made the difference for you.

Noleen Mariappen: Yeah, I right now, I really can't. I just, yeah, yeah. Well, not even that, but it wasn't, it wasn't like any specific book, I would, I would do searches and it was, it was back in the day when there wasn't internet, so you'd have to go to the library.

Sarah Marshall, ND: If we can remember that far back, yep! I would wander the bookshelves of  like, you know, Barnes and Noble all the time. And that's where, so much of my inspiration

came

Sarah Marshall, ND: from.

Noleen Mariappen: And.

And,

Noleen Mariappen: and sort of, you know, search on one of their very antiquated systems and there would like Dewey decimal cards where you had to search through.

And it was literally looking for things like, you know, people with disabilities and looking at disabilities and trying to find a book for people with disabilities and looking at books and then finding a story about someone you know, had accomplished something great with disabilities. But this was, this was the process.

It wasn't, okay, I'll just do a search for inspirational people who have overcome, which now you can type that in and get a million stories.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Yeah.

Noleen Mariappen: Find a whole host of books and, and you know, that would be as easy as it was. It was sort of old fashioned graft and a lot of hit and miss and looking at a lot of things, which were totally irrelevant.

And because, because for me. I mean, I did., I did actually feel, and I think, you know, that's probably why it's the first thing that's come to mind or the first example, I did actually feel that I was in a position of disability. I felt like I was, I was, I wasn't able, and, you know, obviously not in the, the, sort of traditional sense, but that's really how I felt. and, and those were the things that I, I looked for. And then there was inspiration, obviously from the people that I'm, I was meeting a new around me. And who'd been through quite a lot in their lives, some just purely because of the way that that South Africa and apartheid worked during that time, but also just you know, just looking around, like it sort of walked down the street and there were street children, who were sometimes just wanting money to buy glue so they could sniff it. But you know, that too, was a result of their circumstances and what they'd been driven to. But you know, you're getting, getting the sense of perspective and that, so there, there were a number of things, some of it, some of it wasn't always easy to find, and some was just always in plain view.

Yeah, yeah. Now it's a lot easier to find inspiration and those inspirational stories. Yeah.

Sarah Marshall, ND: And it's equally, I mean I do find like I, I miss a little bit of that. The, the random, serendipitous things that would find my way, find their way into my life that were unexpected. It's harder to do that cause like, I'm not going to Google for something I can't think of. I always end up searching for the things I think of, you know, so you gotta like listen differently. I do miss those days. I used to hang out in a bookstore and just like for me it was all, it was always the metaphysical and spiritual healing. And then nutrition.

I mean, I just like, I mean, of course I ended up as a naturopath because I just would live there and that would be all the books I would read on like Wayne Dyer and, you know, manifesting things you wanted in life and Michael Dooley and manifesting change. Like those were all my Bibles in college when I was going through things like that.

Noleen Mariappen: So that, that for me, came later when I was exposed to a little bit more about that. It wasn't, so I went, I went to university in a very, very small town. the university pretty much made up the town. So, you know, the bookstores were bookstores that stocked university books. Got it. So, yeah. So it was sort of like a different, a different type of experience.

And even studying psychology, you know, it was back then, there were some things which considered fret, fringe psychology. So, so if you, so, so the more you talked about like, different, Well, Wayne Dyer, for example, is not something that would have been covered or, you know, it's not a book that would have been stocked at the library.

And, and I was, I was, I became more exposed to those sorts of teachings and now listen to a lot of the audio and you can just put on YouTube. Amazing . That came, that came later on and that actually helped me quite a lot, well with, with some of my other healing later on in life.

Sarah Marshall, ND: That's what I was going to ask you about. Cause you've mentioned you dealt with, was it cervical cancer?

Noleen Mariappen: That's right, yes.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Yeah, yeah.

Noleen Mariappen: Yeah, yeah.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Tell me about that.

Noleen Mariappen: So that, yeah, was, was during quite a stressful period of my life. So I, I'd gone on from university, traveled a bit, and then did quite well in business, and and then managed to make some poor decisions and lost quite a lot in business too.

and during that phase where, where I went through that. there were a number of things which happened. like, you know, losing practically everything overnight in business and, and having some very bad news, from home. My youngest brother was in a very serious car accident. He had severe brain damage when he was in the accident.

They had to induce a coma. He lost an eye, had a lot of trauma to his face. He was only 19 at the time. And so, you know, family were, were dealing with that. and. I then was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and I went through this phase of just, you know, having to deal with the business stuff that was going on, what had happened with my brother.

And then the diagnosis. And I made a decision not to tell my family. About the diagnosis. We, I was living in a separate, in a different country by this time. I'd been away from South Africa for quite a long time. And, and so I spoke to the doctors. Thankfully it was early stages. There was quite a good chance that with treatment it would be fine.

And I made that decision and then proceeded to, you know, look at all the treatments that I could get and what I could do to...Really believing that it was all going to be fine. I think that was sort of the difference. It happened and I didn't just believe, I knew I absolutely 100% knew that it was going to be okay.

And made that decision and sort of went in a very kind of practical way. I dealt with in a very practical way and I think part of it was just a separation and I think that was easier for me to kind of separate from the emotion of it and just see it as a process that I was dealing with. There were certain things that I needed to do and I sort of got into my meditation again, because when, you know, sometimes you feel like life is taking over and those things fall by the wayside.

Looked at my eating patterns and what I was eating, try to do things that I felt was going to manage my stress levels. and, and thought, okay, you know, I'm going gonna get this sorted. This is going to be OK. and went through the process of it, and there were a number of setbacks. So I had, I thankfully didn't have to have chemotherapy. I had, laser loop surgery, and I had, radiotherapy and the initial was the laser loop surgery. And then they discovered that, you know, there were still some cell and I sort of went through a few different things and the process continued and you know, the last of the treatment was radiotherapy.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Yeah.

Noleen Mariappen: And, and it was fine. And then, you know, sort of had to go for my, my, checkups every month, and then it moves on from every month to every three months. Then after a period, it's sort of, you know, less and less frequent. But what I realized was that actually like physically I had healed, but mentally and emotionally,... I don't even know whether to say I hadn't healed is the right way of putting it, but... I hadn't even allowed for myself to really deal with it or acknowledge or accept emotionally.

How that was and what I felt and around that time as well, it was just, you know, so many things. I, my partner at the time, my boyfriend at the time, he and I had been seeing each other for  about six years and we'd broken up as well. And then my brother was in this accident and I was diagnosed, and it was, there was so many things.

There was quite, yeah. And I, I did, I just dealt with everything in a very practical way. Yeah. And it was a coping mechanism. It was my way of dealing with all of that because I had to help out with family stuff in South Africa and, you know, make sure that. Everything was taken care of for my brother and the family was okay.

I had to figure out what was going to happen with the sort of parting of ways with the relationship because we owned a house together and then, you know, it was, ah, cancer, you know, this is inconvenient.  (laughs)

Sarah Marshall, ND: I can imagine you even, I mean. If it were me, I'd be like, cancer. I don't have time for this.

Noleen Mariappen: What exactly that is exactly it, and it was like. Well, you know, it's going to be okay. I don't need to bother my family with this right now, you know? And, and I worked through all of it, so I was working. So when I had to have, my treatment or whatever I was booking it onto for the Fridays, I would take the Monday off so that I had a long weekend and I'd be back to it and, and initially that was fine. Toward the end, it got, I was exhausted, but it was still, it was just, okay, you know, just practically just get through this, you know, it was just a process, and was only when it was all over that I started to feel, and, and I didn't even recognize it at the beginning. It was just like certain things would trigger a reaction in me. So, for example, when I would, when outside of my menstrual cycle there would be spotting or something like that, I would, I would start panicking and, and it was sort of like my emotions and my head were disconnected. I was feeling these things and it just made no sense to me because I, you know, I shouldn't be afraid because I was absolutely certain. Like I knew absolutely 100% I'd be fine. And now I'm fine. And you know, why am I, why am I scared? Like, what am I scared of? And I really had to take a step back and, and think through.

And it was, it was, you know, it seemed like, I was an idiot. I had to treat myself like an idiot and really just stop and retrace my steps and consider what it is, and afterward it just seems obvious. Like right now I'm talking to you and it seems so obvious, but back then it really wasn't like back then, it wasn't. I had to, I had to really think through. What, you know, why am I feeling this way? and initially I didn't, I didn't even identify the feeling as fear or panic or whatever, if it was totally, there was a disconnect even to what was triggering it. And it's, it took quite a lot of, of thinking through and dissecting and actually looking at things that had gone by because, a lot of, you know, a lot of it now is so sort of in the moment, in the present, think about where you're at and what's going on.

But for me, at that point in time, I actually had to think about what had gone on because that was, you know, that was where it all came from. And I had to deal with that in order to move past it. And. In order for my present to be okay again. and, you know, so for that part of my life, it was sort of a lot of going back and dissecting and, and figuring things out, and weirdly, retrospectively, allowing myself to feel something.

And it's, it's a strange one because I was going through this after I had already physically, I physically, I was okay, and yeah, so that was, you know, that was quite an interesting journey for me and it took quite a long time. and it took quite a long time. Well, even now, I mean. Yeah. Now when things happen, I think I sort of expect, not expect, I understand where it's coming from.

Like, you know, recent checks that I had to go for. And initially. I had to call and I had to go back in because the cells weren't normal, so they've got to check again. But that doesn't necessarily mean anything's wrong. It's just that they've been scarred and so sometimes they pick up. Yeah, exactly. Just the scar tissue.

so, so recently when that's happened, I had the call and I felt the fear and I accepted that, okay, you know, this is natural and normal, and I know where this is coming from. And, It was a lot easier to sort of deal with it in the moment and also recognize where that was coming from and that it's not a sign of of weakness or not being able to deal or cope.

It's just that I'm human.

Sarah Marshall, ND: It's so good that you said it that way. 'Cause I think that...I do see us breaking this conversation up... But I think... This is kind of like the world according to Sarah Marshall, but ya know, I don't know exactly the timeframe, but I want to say pretty much since the advent of psychology, maybe I'll say about the last hundred years, probably a little bit further back, we've been pretty obsessed with studying the mind, how the mind works now. We got into neuroscience at a level we've been like cracking open, understanding how the brain works in a way that we've never seen before. And there's all kinds of, you know, forensic fingerprinting work that can be done with neuroscience and brain scans.

And I mean, all kinds of incredible work has been done. And I think while we focused on that, there was a bit of, bastardizing the emotions and like, they're no big deal. Oh, kids have emotions. Adults don't have emotions. You know, children cry when they get hurt. You should get over that by the time you're 12 you know?

And like in general, like we even kind of started talking about at the beginning about social media. The world that we live in is, is dominated by. It's the expectation that the normal state of being a human being is to be just happy and excited and lit up and positive all the time and that's

Noleen Mariappen: exactly

Sarah Marshall, ND: how it should be. And in my own journey, plus taking hundreds of people through their own physical and emotional healing process, the healthiest humans are the ones that have access to the full range and they don't get stuck anywhere. So it's like. If somebody dies, grief is a natural expression. If you lose a job, if you even like one of, I just actually did a podcast with someone who, their whole work is around coaching people on grief and how even fulfilling a goal, and it's something you've been striving for for a long time, when it's fulfilled, there's even sometimes grief because it's sort of like, now what? You know? So,

Noleen Mariappen: yeah.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Grief has a natural place in our life. Sadness has a natural place in our life. Despair has a natural place in our life, anger, all of these things, right? And we have a tendency to to culturally and in ourselves think like if I'm feeling any of these things, something's wrong.

Something's broken. I'm broken. Something's wrong with me. This shouldn't be the way that it is. And as soon as we get into the shouldn't be, ironically, emotions stay stuck and we have to keep dealing with them like. I've often said it's emotion, energy in motion, and it's the allowing it to flow and allowing it to be released that's where so much of our healing can come from. And when we ignore it, suppress it. You know? And like you've really articulated, there's a journey to even sorting out what am I even feeling and why. Like where is this even coming from? And I love how you even said retrospectively, that's very common. I have clients who come to me for one, I mean, most of the time people walk in the door because they want to lose weight or have more energy. Like it's, I want to feel good, I want to look good. Like those are the main reasons, you know? But then underneath that, there could be history of cancer or history of major, or you know, all kinds of major illnesses that's in their background that they're like, Oh yeah, but I'm over that.

Oh, I did it. I did the thing, my body's fine. But there can be all kinds of residual emotions either from the actual treatments themselves. I mean, it's not like a small thing to go in and have LEEP surgery and you know, radiology and all of those kinds of things happening to us. And so then to go back and just make sure we fully have healed from that experience, not to mention whatever emotional things were going on before and during that we either didn't have the energy to process or we just didn't even know to do it at the time. So you just, you've done an amazing job pointing to some of those things in your story that I see really commonly for people. They're like, why is this coming up now? It happened 8 years ago. Cause it's stuck in your body and it's gonna stay there until you process!

Noleen Mariappen: Absolutely. Oh my goodness. There's this exercise. I, I learned to do, and I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's described as softening and it's, it's where you, you know, it's exactly that. It's, it's not repressing your emotion or pretending that everything's all happy and great and amazing, and, there's, there's a lot recently that's sort of with the law of attraction. And yeah. You know, feel happy, be happy, and if you're feeling a negative emotion, transmuted into a positive emotion and that sort of thing. But what softening is all about, is actually sort of recognizing that you're feeling something and and developing a sense of acceptance about it.

So it's almost like stepping outside of yourself and seeing that emotion in you and recognizing and also feeling where it is. In your body and just accepting that, yeah, that's, that's there. You know, I'm feeling this. And depending on how much time you want to spend on it, you can think about why you're feeling it and that sort of thing.

But that recognition is so important and not suppressing it because, well, it's, for me personally, suppression has led to no good thing.

Sarah Marshall, ND: And while you have personal experience, it's not personal to you. That happens across the board with all of us. And you know, as I've explored, you know, my journey has taken me from when I was a kid.

I had asthma and a lot of immune system problems, and I utilized a lot of conventional medicine to literally save my life. Like I wouldn't be on this planet without rescue inhalers, breathing treatments, and antibiotics. So I'm eternally grateful that we have that. Then that led me to like, okay, well, but what do we do in between asthma taxes or anything I can do to heal my lungs?

And I like discovered when I would swim in the winter time, I'd get less asthma attacks cause my body was physically stronger. And then that eventually led me to exploring. I was a chemistry major as my undergraduate.

Noleen Mariappen: Oh my goodness.

Sarah Marshall, ND: And so my whole background was like, well, in a, in a, in a chemical reaction, if you put the wrong products in under the wrong conditions, you get the wrong you know, promise out. So like it made sense. So I'm like, well, nutrition, our bodies, a big giant chemistry set. So I started messing with my nutrition, you know, if I put different things in, I get different results out. And then thus it continued on until naturopathic school and all of that. And I've been through homeopathic protocols and all kinds of high, you know, nutrition protocols and cleanses and detoxes and fast.

Interestingly enough, 25 years later, I'm starting to explore shamanism. And really deep levels of energy healing, and there's not a shamonic practice I've ever found that is like, you should just suppress that, just hold on to that, right? Don't  let that go. You know? And even we look at meditation and, you know, there's kind of the beginning levels of meditation, of just sitting and being and quieting. but I actually had a meditation teacher who said, I want you to intentionally pick one of what he calls the five poisons. So it's anger, hatred, jealousy. Now I'm not gonna be able to remember them all, but it things like that. Right. And I want you to pick one, and in this meditation, I want you to intentionally go looking for it in your life.

Yeah. Where does anger show up? And then be with that and like even talk about like turning up the volume on it. Like get yourself worked up about it in order to then bring awareness to that, not just like, just for the sake of it. So I think. Not only do we have, like you talked about in the law of attraction so much around like, Oh, well, it's okay if you have a negative emotion, just transmute it and turn it into a positive one.

There's a whole nother side of the equation of allowing ourselves in meditation, in healing experiences to actually go in deeper for the sake of releasing and processing things that are in us and, and for me. Ironically, the more I've been willing to experience despair, the more access to joy and like ecstasy that I've gotten.

It's on both sides. It's like I'm, I'm increasing my capacity to feel period in all directions, so I end up getting more of it from everywhere.

Noleen Mariappen: And I think it's being able to, to kind of recognize it and like finding where it lives in you rather than, you know, just experiencing the emotion and it can become quite overwhelming.

There's a more. Like some of the practices that you were talking about, there's a more directed way of, of almost sort of like facing it head on.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Yeah.

Noleen Mariappen: and it's not about control, because I think us wanting to control everything in our lives and emotions and everything else leads to a lot of these issues. It's not about control. It's about that acknowledgement and awareness.

And like you say, you know, sort of like building up and amplifying it, is, is allowing yourself to experience it at its fullest and where it lives in your body and your mind. To be able to say, okay, so you know that's who you are. That's where you are. And yeah, I see you. And letting it go. It's like, yeah, that's, that's great.

You're there. I see you. I see the role that you played, but I don't need that anymore.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Yeah, yeah. There's actually a tool that I got exposed to and I use with my clients a lot. There's a a book and I'm, I'll put the resources together after the podcast, but it's called the power of focusing, and it's literally the same process you're talking about, of like getting quiet, going inside, noticing an emotion, and then you just kind of in your own intuitive mind's eye ask the question like where in my body is this? And then you go there and then what's the physical sensation? And you experience the physical sensation. And then what's the emotion behind the physical sensation? You can even go deeper into like, why am I having this? What do I need to do to heal? And you're like accessing this intuitive component of your body to communicate with you.

And I've had clients that have gone and literally like talking to a friend at a coffee shop. Had a conversation with their cancer and like dialogue, like, why are you here and what, what do I need to learn about this?

And one of the clients that I worked with, she said that her experience was, the cancer said, well, you told me to come. And she's like,

"What?!"

And what had happened was her brother had had cancer and she was at his bedside for nine months. And in that process she kept saying this should be me, this should be me, this should be me. Why you? This should be me. And her body went "okay."

And it manifested. Now, you know, there's all kinds of background around that, but like this is kind of the bullet points of it. And so when she actually got that communication, she was like,

"Oh. Yeah, no, I don't need to keep learning this. I got it." And it was like she could then complete and say. "Okay, now what do we need to do?"

Like, like another client of mine who had breast cancer really young in her thirties she said it was like a bad roommate that I needed to sit down and say, I really love you, but you can't live here anymore. You got to go, and she talked about it that way and like, that's so awesome the way that you've connected to that kind of a process to get in touch with. And then to recognize the things where it's like, okay, thank you and thank you for the lessons you've brought me. And, and, and you can go now. Like it's time to release.

Noleen Mariappen: Yeah, and I think it, it changes the relationship that you have with these emotions as well.

you know, and we're talking about it, like you said, you know, as if they're our bad roommates. That's really what it is.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Totally. Yeah. Well, so now tell us a little bit about like, where are you now in your journey?

Noleen Mariappen: Yeah. So now I'm always working on myself and with myself. I've sort of moved, moved on from that, allowed for me to really, and you know, people who experienced, certain things like cancer, often.... I know it's not common to me. Even greater sense of perspective and what am I doing and what am I good at and what difference can I make in the world with what I'm good at. and sort of. I love business. It's, it's my bag. I see things very clearly and easily. And what doesn't seem like work to me does seem like work to others.

So that's, that's a big passion of mine and I've always really been driven by just the desire. And it is an innate drive. It's not something that I sort of have a choice over wanting to, to make a positive difference in the life of others and wanting to do more in, in whichever way that I can. So as things currently are, I own a few businesses. I'm launching, a couple more working on, a very cool project with one of the companies. I, I'm one of the owners of. It's a motorcycle company, which is quite fun. And we're looking at having a female led, range, so female designers, engineers, and that sort of thing. And, consulting companies.

So if you, I work with a few companies each year and consult on strategy and operations. I own a perfume company. I'm launching, an app, which is called daily inspiration, which is, which is more of a passion project. And, profits will go to a community interest initiative that I've set up. So, it goes toward helping community and nonprofit projects, and the app, sends out inspirations in five areas of life each day. Because sometimes I feel like you get a quote and it's a general quote, but sometimes your lack of motivation is about money or about spirituality or about your emotional state. So it sends up inspirations in five different areas of life every day. It has a daily journal section where you can have your action lists and your gratitude for the day, a vision board section to add your little images and a monthly review.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Oh my gosh that's awesome.

Noleen Mariappen: Yeah. So that's, that's pretty cool. It's actually in test phase at the moment. So hoping to launch, next month for people to sign up for free and just test it and tell us what's not working and what needs, what could be better and that sort of thing.

So really excited about that. And also, community and personal safety app. so that's, been in the makings for quite a while now. but allows for, well, different, authorities and institutions to send out notifications of, of what people need to be on the lookout for in their area, but quite importantly, allows people to report incidents.

And also to be able to get support. So looking to have nonprofit organizations and different projects that support and help people who are victims of violence and crime, to be able to, to offer support to them through the app and to have it all in one place. and yeah, so. So that's the other thing.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Oh my gosh.

Well, thank you for, I mean, you're clearly someone committed to making a difference with other people and, and got a lot happening and taking the time to, to be here and share your story and your journey of, you know, it'd be easy to say like, Oh, and this is what I'm up to now, and I'm owning these companies.

But like, like you said, to be able to share the journey and the challenges and the low points and the growth that we have to go through in order to create, you know, these opportunities in our life. Thank you for your, authenticity.

Noleen Mariappen: No, I'm really happy to share and I'm very honored to have been given the opportunity. So thank you.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Absolutely. And you know, timing wise, because of how we're recording these, the app may actually already be out by the time this releases. So we'll be able to connect. We'll be able to connect the people that hear this too, to the app for that resource and make sure that  (inaudible))  will be all connected. You and I will stay in touch about it. So.

Noleen Mariappen: Oh, absolutely. Thank you very much. I'm really grateful and thank you. And, yeah. if there's anything I can ever do to help or support you, let me know

Sarah Marshall, ND: Yes, I will for sure.

Noleen Mariappen: You're one of those, you're one of those, you know, same souls who's out there to make a difference and it's being very driven by something that's greater and beyond.

So, yeah, absolutely. Any time. Yeah.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Great. I similarly have that experience where I don't have much choice in the matter. Every time I start to step away from it, the universe is like, excuse me. I'm like, okay. Back on track. Yeah, absolutely. Good.

Well, thanks again are so appreciated and,

Noleen Mariappen: my pleasure.

Sarah Marshall, ND: We will connect soon.

Noleen Mariappen: Absolutely. You take care of you, Sarah.

Sarah Marshall, ND: You bet. Okay, buh-bye.

Noleen Mariappen: Buh-bye.

Sarah Marshall, ND: Thanks to today's guest, Noleen Mariappen for her laughter and love, you can learn more about finding your own healing by going to Sarah MarshallND.com or follow me on Instagram at @Sarah MarshallND. Me and my team, we're so glad you were here. Super thanks to Roddy Nikpour, music composer and to our editor, Kendra Vicken.

Until next time.