Liberating the captive; releasing 80 pounds with Cesar Contreras
On today's episode, we go to the big Island of Hawaii and get to share in the deeply inspiring and soulful journey of the physical, mental, and spiritual transformation of Cesar Contreras after losing 80 pounds in nine months.
Referenced in the Show
Cesar’s Bio
Entrepreneur, visionary, experienced sales professional committed to leadership development and empowering individuals with more freedom, and peace of mind. Focused on building teams to perform at the highest possible level on a foundation of integrity. Highly committed to providing the best customer experience and long term relationships. I personally mentor, train, teach and coach teams and individuals on what it takes to overcome circumstances and situations to increase effectiveness and results that matter to them. Anything and everything can be resolved and worked out through effective communication.
This last year I stepped away to work on my health and well being, and in the process lost over 80lbs. I discovered a new level of power and freedom that has given me access to new levels of gratitude for life and all that it offers us. From my experience i felt compelled to share my journey and I am currently working on a project called “Liberate the Captive,” focused on freeing individuals from those thoughts, stories, or circumstances that has them stuck in life, specifically around their well being. Website launch is scheduled for Spring 2021.
I love to travel, meet people, create workability in all areas of life and most importantly I love my incredible wife Johana, and my 4 amazing kids Kiara, CJ, Arianna and Maximus.
Full Transcript
Sarah Marshall ND: Welcome to HEAL. On today's episode, we go to the big Island of Hawaii and get to share in the deeply inspiring and soulful journey of the physical, mental, and spiritual transformation of Cesar Contreras after losing 80 pounds in nine months. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Marshall.
Sarah Marshall ND: All right. Let's dive in. I have Cesar Contraras here from Hawaii, from Venezuela. I mean, depending on how you define from...
Cesar Contreras: right? (Sarah: yep) From Provo. Born in Venezuela,
Sarah Marshall ND: born in Venezuela, from Provo, Utah
Cesar Contreras: Moved to Utah. Grew up in Provo.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yep.
Cesar Contreras: And then ended up in Hawaii.
Sarah Marshall ND: Ended up, is that what happened?
Cesar Contreras: Kind of out of, out of the blue, it wasn't planned for sure.
Definitely wasn't planned. (Sarah: mhm) If you would've told me a year ago that I'd be living in Hawaii, I would have been like, you're crazy. No way. Not going to happen.
Sarah Marshall ND: And how has it been? (Cesar: So. Man it's been..) Especially this year to (Cesar: right?) move to Hawaii and then have an international pandemic hit.
Cesar Contreras: You know, it's been very. Interesting would be probably the best word.
A lot of unexpected things. Been the greatest blessing in my life. I'll tell you that much. I've grown closer to things and people like my family that I hadn't realized how much I had kind of distanced myself from. so in that regard, I mean, some of the unexpected have been the greatest blessings ever, and then you deal with the, the job situation or the, you know, the pandemic and the isolation and the social distancing and dealing with kids, four kids being at home, trying to find space for them to learn. And have them be excited to learn (Sarah: yeah) instead of like you're in your PJ's you can go to school whenever you feel like it. (Sarah: right?) Go to school now, or else. (Both laugh)
Sarah Marshall ND: Those options. (Chuckles) How old are they?
Cesar Contreras: So my oldest daughter just turned 14. that's been fun. And then I have an 11 year old who will turn 12 here pretty quick in January, a 9-year-old and a 7-year-old.
So girl, boy, girl, boy.
Sarah Marshall ND: Nice. Yep. (Cesar chuckles) So I want to get into why you're here, which you get to say, you know, you said to me that you want to, you know, share your story and be able to be an inspiration. And also that you're really willing to like, talk about the good, the bad, the ugly of the whole process. Right? So I'm going to let it be your words.
Why are you here? What's the story you want to share?
Cesar Contreras: Well, the story, you know, interesting because I know initially I had reached out to you, and you being Professional and naturopathic medicine and me dealing with man what's going on with my body. And I really just wanna get a second opinion, a third opinion, because the last... man, probably 10 years or so, I've really been looking and searching for ways to grow, and to be fulfilled and chasing that all elusive "When I have this, I'll be happy" situation, which I feel all of us at some point or time fall into and through the chasing and through the, the challenges. I mean, two years ago, I think it became the moment where, where I started to realize that I was at an all time low. I was involved in a car accident, really hurt myself worse than I, than I thought I had, but being, you know, the provider having to try and muscle through different things and prove that I wasn't hurt as bad or prove that I could still do things rather than falling into a I'm really hurt, I can't do anything mentality, but at the same time it was, you know, the, the physical and emotional pain was really there. and I guess sometimes the story I really want to tell is that there's a blessing hidden everywhere. (Sarah: mmm) At that point. I, you know, I was, I was having really scary thoughts, asking my wife for a divorce. I think I have, I've only told three people that, (Sarah: mhm) (laughs) and the moment I said that very quickly, I was like, no, no, no, no, that's not what I meant because I couldn't believe that that came out of my mouth. (Sarah: right)
But that she had been putting up with a lot of, of me not being serious about life. Chasing something that maybe she saw that I already had. And it took a, it took getting really, really low and finding out that, Hey, you know what, I do have a say in how my life goes.
So I think the story, I mean, the story I really want to tell is that anything's still possible. Like you can be in the lowest of lows, (Sarah: yeah) you can be stuck in, in a, in a pattern of living life a certain way. And really like letting go and trusting yourself, trusting your, what they say here, your, your, your, how's it say in Hawaii, this, that, your (Hawaiian word) that, that inner gut, that soul.
and letting magic happen, you know, trusting God, if you believe in God, trusting the universe, if you believe in the universe, but more trusting yourself (Sarah: mmm) that you're here for a reason that there's a purpose that, that you were born to do something great. That that's the story that I want to tell, you know, I don't get up in the mirror and be like, Oh my gosh, like you're someone special or you have a huge following or, you're gonna make a huge difference in the world. But at the same time, I'm someone that is out in the community that I, I get to talk to random strangers all day, every day, that I, you know, wants to contribute. And whether it's two people that I meet a day, or whether it's a hundred people that I meet a day, I just know that I have an opportunity to leave people more empowered and inspired and alive because I got to say hi to them, (Sarah: mhm) you know, and then teaching my kids that and living a life from gratitude, then looking at everything that's going on right now in the world. That's, I mean, it's pretty scary and dark and (Sarah: it could be) not a lot of hope, (Sarah: yeah. It could be for sure.) not a lot of, a lot pointing fingers, a lot of blaming, a lot of all that's going on. You know, it's hard to find a lot of it's it's, it's hard to turn on the TV and find hope to find love, (Sarah: right) to find joy, to find those stories of faith are those stories of, accomplishment, (Sarah: right) you know, in the world today. So, I mean, that's, in a nutshell, that's a long answer, (Sarah: right?) but it's a little bit of everything, (Sarah: I love it) you know, it's just, you know, take it on your life and, and taking care of yourself, taking care of your mind, taking care of your body and taking care of your family and take care of, you know, overall health, not just one part of your, of your life, but all of it. All of it.
Sarah Marshall ND: Given that I've had the privilege to know you for about four years, you know, I would say, Oh, well Cesar, you've always been doing that. So what's different now? Because I know there has been a profound shift. Like you talked about two years ago with the car accident and hitting a form of your version of rock bottom. Something has altered because on the outside, and I think this is something that all of us deal with. And or if we tell the truth, like if people, most people in our lives from the outside looking in would be like, Oh, you've had a great life for kids. Your wife is beautiful. You have this faith-based relationship.
You've had empowering context in your life all the way through and not to invalidate that you don't have those things. Right. But I think what's less common behind our Instagramming and our Facebooking and our, what have you is actually like underneath that for you, what was really going on or what you were dealing with, you know, cause out here I'm like, what do you mean this is new for you, Cesar? (Cesar laughs) (Cesar: right?) You've always been this champion of taking care of people and being there to make a difference in people. So what, what happened two years ago? What were you really dealing with?
Cesar Contreras: Well, one thing that I've noticed, I think one of the biggest changes for me internally has been the realization of how much I was doing things in order to be loved in order to be accepted like I was taking on, you know, whether it was doing, training, leadership training, whether it was coaching, whether it was, responsibilities within church responsibilities with community groups, looking for having that be what fulfilled me like that was going to fill something that was wrong with me.
Something that I didn't see for myself. Like if I were more busy, if I were doing more for other people, if I were helping more people be empowered. If I were making a bigger difference as fulfilling as that was, for me, it was all in order to compensate how I never really saw myself.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: And I don't know if that really makes sense to most people until you're like, Holy smokes. I was putting all my attention out there.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: Looking finding, searching, trying to fill in something that I perceived as missing for me.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: And the impact that that started to have on my relationship with my wife, the impact of that started to have on my relationship with my kids.
Couple of weeks back, I put an Instagram post where, being out here in Hawaii and starting over, basically, no, I mean, we knew like two people (Chuckles) that I happened to...
Sarah Marshall ND: And you came into a new job. Right? So it was like all sorts of stuff.
Cesar Contreras: New job, new everything.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: New, new everything.
It's we had the opportunity to, well, I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my kids and my family and drive around the Island.
And, we happened to go to the Waipio Valley overlook, which is one of the most incredibly beautiful places on planet earth. And I took a selfie with my family and just realized the amount of time that we had spent together. Where before I was so busy, I was having to schedule time with my kids. (Sarah: yeah) And most of those times would also get bumped either later or something would come up or have to reschedule.
And I don't know, Sarah, it was like, stuff always kept coming up between me and what really mattered to me and what really mattered to me was my family. But what also really mattered to me was empowering other people. And I just couldn't find the balance between the two.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: Because all my family's here, they're not really going anywhere. They'll understand. They'll be okay. They'll just have to kind of learn to live with this while I go and help other people chasing, I don't know. Well, I know what it was chasing this recognition or acknowledgement of what I was doing that was great in the world. And that then will lead to something financially down the road that will then bless my family. (Sarah: yep)
So that was the justification of me not stopping. Whatever was getting in the way and saying, Hey, hold on, Kara, what do you need? Let's go hang out for an hour. You know, you're 13 years old here. I mean, I remember what I was like when I was 13 years old, you know, my, my, my, my father and my mother had been recently divorced and I leaned so much on friends, man, if I'm really committed to what I am committed to, let me go be there for you right now.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: And then I think it was, it was then I was like, because I was chasing the one thing, ignoring the other, then I ended up hurting both sides, you know, (Sarah: right) trying to find the balance. Then I, I didn't really fulfill on the one and then I was impacting the other.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: So really, you know, when I was in that car accident and, there was a specific situation where.
my wife, Joanna bless her heart. I mean, she's just such a spiritual giant and she's just, you know, when they, when they say listen to women, I mean, I'm, I'm not... women have something that us men don't have. They have that sixth intuition that, that, that sixth feeling, you know, that sixth sense. And she pulled me aside and we were in a pretty heated argument and she just, I remember so clearly she just yelled at me: "you are so blind!" And I don't know, that triggered something for me. Like I, something, the way that she said it, it was like, she, it took everything for her to say that to me, she risked her, she risked everything to be invalidated in that moment. She risked our relationship in that moment and I got it.
Like she had, it was seeing obviously something that I was blind to. And that had me really stop and reflect. And, that, that for me was a moment where things started turning around that, that I need to put more attention on my family. (Sarah: mhm) However, I felt stuck. I felt stuck because I had given my word to so many people to so many responsibilities, so many accountabilities, and I didn't know how to, I couldn't see a clear path or a clear way of how to break myself away from all of it without causing major upset impacts without having things just kind of fall apart everywhere.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah. I've, I've been in a similar spot, you know, and it's hindsight right. Is 2020, hahaha but.
From the inside of it, it did. It was like, I couldn't see any other way. And for me it looked a little different.
It was... My innate nature is like, I will get your acceptance and love for me if it's referenced to something I've done (Cesar: mhm) or a result I've produced. So like, if you're like, Hey Sarah, the way that, you know, you just, you know, worked with that patient or ran that marathon or climbed that mountain, like how you ski, like if they say something about what I do and acknowledge me, I totally get it.
I'm like, no problem. (Cesar: right?) (Cesar: laughs)
But if they're just like, if, if you know people who love me, my family members, you know, people in my life are like, you know, your great, I got an argument in my head about that. And so for me, there was this collapse of like, I have to be busy. I have to have my life filled up. That was, I mean, it sounds cliche, but it really was like, that was me proving my worth in the world.
And without that there, who was I? What was the point? And, and my conversation, right? This is how we all twisted is I'm not married and I don't have kids. So I have no effing excuses. I should be out there changing the world. I should be out there making my business as big as I possibly can to make as much difference as I can.
I have to do these things. That was like the very thick candy coating on the outside. And then as I've now interesting, you know, you and I were in a very similar schedules. (Cesar: right!) It was about two years ago, came to a place where things shifted. And I started to say no, and I started to get clear about the only things I was going to focus on were what was my highest priorities.
And honestly, I didn't know what else was going to happen. I just knew I needed to make space for something else. I didn't know what I just, I just was like, and they were just needed to be safe space. And so in that space, one of the first things I confronted was. I had also been busy enough that I didn't have to feel a whole bunch of shit.
I didn't have to actually experience losses and griefs that I had had from years ago, because it was the next thing onto the next thing onto the next thing onto the next thing. And everything was scheduled and everything was so tightly put together. And some of that was habit. (Cesar: mhm) Like after I had built the muscle from, you know, more or less high school.
Which I got the wild hair idea to graduate from high school early. So I compacted my junior and senior year into one year. It was like, right, when that happened, there became this new normal of like a double load was normal to me. And then I get through college and then I get through naturopathic school, which is like getting a dual degree, one in medicine, conventional medicine, and one in naturopathic medicine, and then opening my practice.
And it was like I was off to the races. So when I did have that space, that gap where there was less pulling for my outward attention. I went through a good process of like, you know, do I have self-worth? What is it? And I still like. I do. But even now two years later, and even releasing the podcast and everything I'm up to the poll is right there already. It's back. Oh, the podcast is now seven months out and you've got these, you know, people listening. I got to make it bigger. I got to do more. (Cesar: haha) I got to do it. I need sponsors. I need it's like it's. That knock, which is not why I started this thing. Right. And of course I've started a podcast called HEAL and investigating what it means to heal.
And, but it's like this seductive thing that sits there, but I too have spent a ton more time with my family in the last two years, because I can practice from anywhere. I'll go home. Like I'm going home for the holidays and I'm going to be home for five weeks and I'll still see clients and I get to go be with my family and, you know, spend that time with them and have that space.
So like, I hear you in that place where we start to recognize we're sort of stuck inside of that place of. I know it needs to be different, but I don't know my way out. And I had that fear too, of like, if I pull the plug on some of the things on my plate, how's that going to affect my income? How's it gonna affect my livelihood? How's that going to affect just my sense of well-being? Like, am I suddenly going to spin into some dark tunnel, if I don't have all this structure around me to keep me supported?
Cesar Contreras: Right. And the, the, the, the interesting thing about that, as you, as you just mentioned that, how do I get out of it? It like, there is this feeling of like, I'm stuck, but the reality of it was at, at that time, because I had just gone through the accident, I've started to kind of physically heal, but emotionally I was a disaster.
I mean, I was, selling high-end windows at the time and I would walk into a potential clients home. And they literally would be like, Oh, these are awesome. And then they wouldn't buy from me. And then it was like, I was just getting more, more emotionally beat up because I, I had been doing the same thing that I'd been doing previous. Same sales cycles, same sales pitch, same sales everything.
Sarah Marshall ND: That used to work.
Cesar Contreras: And nobo-, yeah, exactly.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: And nobody was buying from me. And then I was like, Oh my gosh, then the financial burden.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: I've taken care of my family and the emotional burden. And then it, it just, it just, it got so overwhelming. I literally felt depressed, but I had never dealt with, like, that could be a reality. (Sarah: mmm)
And my wife bless her heart. She was like, nah, you're just making stuff up. You're good. But I was like, I had no drive to get out of bed. I had no drive to go work. I mean, it took every ounce of effort and energy. Just to try and make things happen. And the financial impact became massive. It became like, Oh my gosh, like a mountain that I, I didn't know how to get out of.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: And, and so when I finally, you know, it, it, it wasn't like the plug was like, I pulled the plug, the plug started being pulled on me. (both laugh) You know?
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: It was like, Hey, Cesar, you know what? You're not producing. So this may not work out for you. You know, or, Hey, you're not performing, with the coaching program, so we're going to replace you.
Yeah.
And then, then the emotional toll became even greater because that was just validation (Sarah: validation, evidence) that I just plain out sucked. (Sarah: yeah) I was like, you know, like, you know what. All those negative stories, all that negative talk that I've been training myself to not listen to is now so real because I have all the evidence in the world, you know, it was like, I really just wanted to give up. (Sarah: mhm)
It was, it was super hard. And I mean, and in that moment, you, you, you just go into survival mode. Sorry. I was. I was trying to find money in places that I'd never even considered. I was donating plasma just to like help pay for food. I was reaching out to church. I was reaching out to friends. I mean, I rather than doing what I knew that I could do the, the, the training that I've had and everything, it just became.
So. I dunno, like buried.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: The survival instinct just kicked in. Like, I can't go, you know, show my resume to someone that I've been in sales professional for 15, 20 years. Because if, if, if they talk to my current boss over and what I've done the last six months, they wouldn't want to hire me.
Sarah Marshall ND: Right.
Cesar Contreras: You know, but then they're not getting the full story, you know?
So I started making up more stuff as to how I couldn't succeed either or, or provide for my family. And that's where, you know, it's like, okay, well, what could we do? What could we do? What could we do? And of course my wife. She, I mean, she's going to be the hero in this whole story, (Sarah laughs) She is the hero, you know, she said, Hey, call your cousin, man.
He's doing really good. You know, see what he's up to. So I called my cousin, Hey, you know, can you hooke me up with a job? He's like, well, let me ask and so he called the owner of the company. They, they, we set up an interview and basically gave me the job on the spot to be an area manager for an insurance company.
I was like, all right, cool. The bad news is we don't have anything in Utah. I was like, okay, what are the options? So we can go to Orlando. You can go to El Paso, Anchorage, Alaska, or the Big Island Hawaii. Okay. Can we think about it? Yeah, I think about it. And it was like, how do we, you know, with the financial position we were in, it's like, how do we even choose?
Like, how do we even make any of that work? But, you know, this was like the beginning of, rather than trying to do things for myself, it really like had me, it was kind of a slice of humble pie. (Sarah: mmm) Like this decision, it wasn't just going to impact me. It was an impact of my family. So if it's going to affect my family, I better ask them what they think.
And I remember so vividly, like sitting down in our front room, kneeling down. Yeah. Saying a prayer, saying, Hey, we got out, we had to have this family conversation. Here's what's going on. Here are the options. Let's just make it start making a list of what you guys think would be pros and cons and pros and cons and pros and cons.
And thankfully at the end of that conversation, there were more pros for trying to make it out to live out here in Hawaii than not. But then became the, how do we make it work? Because I ha- you know, like I was kind of put on my own to try and make it out here on my own, you know, like, like the company paid for my, for my air ticket.
For my airfare. And training and that's about it.
There's five other people though. (Cesar: you know?) Yeah.
And so I remember I showed up back in September of 2019 with 50 bucks in my pocket and an opportunity to go work. And I think what's what changed there was it was almost like I got to like start over. You know? And it was, maybe it was that feeling of I'm starting over.
I don't know anybody on the Island. I'm not accountable to anything. It really was like a, like a rebirth, if you will, (Sarah: yeah) like mentally.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: It was interesting how it was like, everything was just being taken away. Before, before I came out here, I was losing everything anyway. (Sarah: mhm) I felt, I felt like what's the worst that could happen if we go to Hawaii, you know what I mean? It was like, Oh, we can say that we lived in Hawaii. Hey kids, that's that's good enough. You know, (Sarah: right?) we should go, just go make it an adventure. And then the adventure kind of showed up. You know, and it's been an adventure and it's been, everything was now kind of inside of a context of, Hey, let's just make this an adventure, you know, adventures, you don't know kind of, you don't know the end, you don't know what's next, but there is an in like this, perceived, excitement.
About going on an adventure, (Sarah: yeah) you know, rather than the unknown, you know? So, that's been, that's been fun too, is to, to have that shift and to make life adventurous again.
Sarah Marshall ND: Right. So one of the things that, you know, literally in your life has altered is your pants size.
Cesar Contreras: Oh my gosh yeah.
Sarah Marshall ND: So tell us about that. Like, how does that fit into... Because you've had a big physiologic, physical transformation and the life-altering things that have happened,
Cesar Contreras: You know, it's so crazy because I came out here and I, I mean, the mind is, is just remarkable. Hawaii is a magical place. First of all, I'll just say that. Living out here.
you just feel so much love and aloha and connection with people, so much gratitude. and so I'm out here in Hawaii and a lot like the Latino culture, where, where people just show you a lot of love by "come over and eat food," you know? Come over and eat, come over and eat, come over and eat. I I, well, I mean, I was always at, around not always the last seven, 10 years or so, I've been around 280.
but I started gaining weight being out here and, it was the day after Christmas. My oldest son had gotten a surfboard. And all he wanted to do was go surfing, surfing, surfing. So we took them out. And, our friend that, took us out to go surfing, brought an additional surfboard for me. And growing up as a, as a, as a ballroom dancer, I've been very able to do physical things.
I have great balance. I, you know, I, I just love athletics and sports loved playing baseball and loved playing soccer. I I've always been one that can pick up things fairly easy. Granted, as I started gaining more weight, things became a little bit harder, but when I got on the surf board and started paddling out, And wave after wave, would just knock me off.
And I couldn't stay on the stinking surf board for more than like 10 seconds. I didn't even try and catch the wave because I couldn't stay on the board long enough to try and catch a wave. (Sarah: right?) I was so mad at myself. and that, that was kind of like the rock bottom for me with my weight. (Sarah: yeah) It's like, Oh my gosh, I can't even get out of stupid surf board.
And then as my son caught, like, I think it was like the third or fourth way that he tried to catch. He rode the wave. And he's like, come on, dad. It's not hard. This is super easy. (Sarah: laughs) Come on, dad. What do you know? And the embarrassment that I couldn't do it, that that was kind of a shifting factor. Then COVID hit.
And man, it was like I was eating probably the, my diet kind of consisted of tortillas and cheese. Like I was eating quesadillas like they were going out of style, you know, easy, fast, and it was just satisfying. But I wasn't eating like one or two little tortillas. I was eating like 10, 15, tortillas with cheese, you know, and just, I don't know the stress, the emotional, eating, the being stuck inside the house.
Cause we were on quarantine, whatever, and I knew I was gaining weight and then it was back in end of April, I got on the scale and I hit 326 pounds and that's kind of where my heart stopped. And I was like, this stops now. And, I was that's the first time I was, I actually was scared for my life. Whoa. It was shocking to me. And as I started, I, you know, that, that night I got on Facebook saw a friend. She put up a before and after. And I was like, whatever you're doing, sign me up. I'm I'm, I'm I'm in. And that's when I realized that I couldn't keep justifying my weight. Because up to that point, anytime I went to the doctor, and did vitals, my blood work always came back fine.
I didn't suffer from any, you know, blood sugar or any cholesterol. (Sarah: mmm yeah) Everything always checked out normal. whenever asked people or whatever, the weight conversation came up. I always deflected by asking people, well, how much do you think I weigh? And they were always 50, 60 pounds off. So I was like, okay, cool.
If I don't look that heavy and if I know physiologically my bloodwork isn't like concerning.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: I'm good. But 326 kind of was a different story from 280.
Sarah Marshall ND: Right. Yeah. Yeah. No. And I just want to underscore, because I think that's, there's just a world of conversation around like, what is weight really?
You know, and those things of where we do justify it and and the other side is like, It's going to sound ridiculous, but I'm going to say it. There's nothing wrong with being fat.
Cesar Contreras: Right.
Sarah Marshall ND: Unless it impedes your life and there's places where it's not the you, authentic you, heartfelt you, soulful you. Not the looking good, I got to look like the people on the magazines, but like whatever that authentic self is, you know, when that's out of whack, like. I have been fortunate. This is where I'm treading into interesting territory. So you're going to have to tell me, and if I'm just full of it, tell me. I've never been overweight.
Right now I'm at the highest weight I've ever maintained, which is not way off, but it's like, I've watched this creep happen. Where in my twenties, my average was around 135. And then in my thirties, my average is around 145. And then I turned 40 this summer, COVID, chronic fatigue syndrome, blahdy, blah, added in, and I'm like a solid 10 pounds heavier than I was last year, like this last year.
And I've been going. Okay. Is this the game, like 10 pounds a decade or more? Or is it going to be like, is it going to start speeding up at this point? As all my girlfriends tell me you turned 40 and everything changes, you know, (Cesar: yeah) and I've even been looking at, but, and at one level, I feel like I have no business saying this because I'm talking about 10 pounds and I know people deal with a world different than that. And I've been in my own space of like watching the conversations creep in watching all of the make wrong. And then also like this teetering between justification. Of like, yeah, but I've actually slowed down and it's okay. And I'm taking care of other parts of my health to like, but I know where, I mean, for me, I know where it came from and there was a marked increase. Funny. Quesadillas all over it. Tortillas and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches and ice cream, (Cesar: heck ya) which have always been some of my favorite things, but I'd never eaten them in the quantity that I have in the last year, you know? And so I've been staring that down and. Shifting things and still to be continued because I keep working this out.
But like that piece of, of where we both internally, I beat myself up about it, but then externally justify it.
Cesar Contreras: Yeah. And I think for, for, for me, Sarah, too, it was like, I, it wasn't that I, I knew I had been overweight for so long. I mean, I growing up being a ballroom dancer and competing. And, I mean, if you watch the show Dancing with the Stars, those first two seasons, those were all my friends that were on that show.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: I grew up competing against all those really incredible dancers.
Sarah Marshall ND: You got, is this right: you got a scholarship to BYU for ballroom dancing? (Cesar: yeah) I mean, you were like, it was full on.
Cesar Contreras: Yeah. Yeah, no. And, and, you know, it came to the moment where I could, could have chosen to go down that path. I chose not to, I chose to get married, have a family life, those two, I mean, props to those that make it work.
But the chances of having it work greatly decrease in my opinion, I may get in trouble for saying this, but marrying a, a Latino woman, who's extremely jealous dancing with someone else that's got very little clothes on while we're on the competition floor is not a good combination.
Sarah Marshall ND: That also wasn't help either (both laugh) Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: But you know it, and it was funny cause you know, the weight really started happening when Joanna got pregnant with our first daughter and, and. I know how much her image, how important her image was to her, you know, being from Venezuela and, you know, the whole ooo Venezuelan women are beautiful and all the Miss Universes.
And, you know, there, there, there is an, an, unsaid expectation for a lot of (Sarah: yeah) Venezuelan women that way. I mean, you see way more beautiful Venezuelan woman than not. I'll leave it at that.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah. Of a particular body shape too, (Cesar: sure, sure, sure) because beauty comes in a wide range, but there's a particular body shape that,
Cesar Contreras: Correct. But you know, as she started, you know, gaining weight and her body started to shift. So did mine, you know, call it sympathy weight, call it, you know, I kind of wrote, I don't know if that's where I started just to justify why, you know, whatever, it's all good. We're married. I don't have to worry about it anymore, but she had a baby and I didn't. (Sarah: uh-huh) You know, she, she, she was able to, you know, get back down to a manageable weight and I, and I didn't, and then baby number two came and I gained more, baby number three came and I gained more. You know, for you it was every 10 years. From me it was every baby. (Both laugh) (Sarah: uh-huh)
The other thing I want to say about that though, that you brought up is the pressure that I put on myself to lose weight for so many years. It was like the more, the more you try and change things, the more they say the same.
That was that that for me was that became so true. I, I, I could see it everywhere else in my life, except with my weight. Like the more I tried to change my weight, the more my weight stayed the same. And so there was always that fear or that it's not going to work or what's gonna be different now, which I, I know I'm not alone in having those thoughts. Cause that's why people hate diets. That's why people, like, when it comes to try to lose weight, they just kinda are so resigned about it. And I was too.
I really, I really was. so over the last couple of months, I think one of the things, because one of the things that really shifted, is I've been, working with a program called, mindset mastery. that's put on by Leslie Householder and really the ability to train your mind, to see things complete and what that would feel like, right? (Sarah: mmm) Like the question is what would it, what, what will it feel like? Or what does it feel like to have your ideal weight (Sarah: mmm) and putting that in, into word. And it was interesting because as I did the exercise, I literally started to feel myself fit again, like, Oh, wow. Yeah. I miss feeling that way. Oh, I remember when I felt that way. Oh, wow. You know, and it was like a lot of oh-wow moments for me. As I started to see myself having the body or having the health. One of the things that I wrote in fact, let me pull it up. I'll just read it. It says, you know, I'm blessed with an incredible good health. I take care of my body and I'm healthy and strong, full of vitality. I share about my physical transformation and the process and lessons I've learned to inspire people to live their best life, to help others see that they can accomplish anything they put their mind to. I love to see myself in the mirror with my muscle showing with my clothes fitting loosely and comfortable. I sleep like a baby. I wake up in the morning and feel refreshed, excited, and with purpose, I'm clear on my intentions, what I am meeting and how I feel.
I love fueling my body with the nutrients it needs and seeing the overwhelming results. I love that people reach out daily to compliment me on my results. I inspire others to take on their life. I can run a mile under eights minutes without pain, surf with Joel and coach him and play soccer and other sports that I love dance with Joanna and with my daughters without feeling tired or sore.
I love being at the beach. It's my favorite place to be free, to be confident and present. It is so rewarding. I love being intimate. I'm desired and wanted by Joanna. We have an amazing love life. She can't keep her hands off me.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah!
Cesar Contreras: Right? It is passionate, sexy, full of connection and love. As a result of my commitment, she too has transformed her physique. It looks incredible. I love that people turn heads when we're together. We are a true power couple. So, yeah. Those are just some of the things that I started to just see as like, they were already, as they have already happened. And then, then it went from, I have to eat this way or I have, or I can't eat that or I can't do this or I have to do that to, Oh, I get to do this.
Oh, I get to eat healthy today. Cause I already know what the result is. (Sarah: mmm) ultimately, if I were to boil it down to one thing, so what it did is it had me have a lot more gratitude for everything in my life. (Sarah: mmm) That I could eat healthy. That I could choose to eat healthy, became something I became grateful for. That I, that I got to sleep that night and got to wake up feeling more refreshing that day, the day before, because of the choices I made, (Sarah: yep) I got to be grateful for that. I, you know, that my clothes started to, to, to get loose. It's like, Oh my gosh. It's like, ah, I'm grateful for the clothes that I've had. And I'm super grateful that I get to go look for new clothes.
You know, like, wow, what I mean, it just became like humbling, you know, it became like, wow, like, like my, my. My body is incredible. What it can do. My body can, really can truly transform. And then it became kind of like, Oh man, it really, if the secret ingredient was being grateful. That's what I was missing? Come on! (Both laugh) Come on! You know. It's like, but then it was like, how numb was I?
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: That I didn't take time to express gratitude for the little things like my body, like waking up feeling refreshed, like having access to food that fuel my body versus food that doesn't, you know, grateful for the knowledge that I have grateful for just grateful for it all.
In fact, it was, it was also in that Mindset Mastery Course that I took where it's like, Hey, write down a hundred things that you're grateful for like in this moment right now. And it was like, okay, I can do that. And I got to about 15 and I was like I'm grateful for my family, grateful for God, grateful for my house, grateful for my cars, grateful for bla-bla-bla. And then it was like, Oh shoot, like, what am I really grateful for?
I'm grateful that I have neighbors that we get to connect with. I'm grateful that I'm considered an essential worker. You know, I'm grateful that I, you know, there's then all of a sudden it's like that next level of gratitude and then that next level of gratitude, and then you get to like the nitty gritty, like, Oh my gosh, like I'm just grateful that I have a pillow. (laughs) You know, like, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for rain. You, you start to get present to so many things. (Sarah: yeah) And that, that for me, I ultimately, I believe that's been the biggest game changer. Because even now when, when I get angry or upset or when something triggers me, the first thing that I do is I sit down and I pull out a piece of papers.
Like, what am I grateful for right now? And almost immediately it takes, it takes whatever I'm upset about or triggered by, it just disappears because you can't have an attitude of gratitude and then an attitude of hate co-exist. (Sarah: yep) It just, you just can't.
Sarah Marshall ND: You know, the, if by the time this podcast comes out, the holidays will have come and gone, but just hang with me listeners. So, you know, coming up against Thanksgiving and Christmas and being inside of what we're dealing with with a pretty big major surgance of COVID. And, and the plan was for me to fly to my sister's house and then be there for five weeks all the way through Christmas.
And I've just been looking at like, does that make sense or not really? And I'm the only one out here on the West coast and everyone else's there. And I got in this like spiral of loneliness and I'm going to be on my own. And like, I screwed it up. And if I, you know, just like all the just (Cesar: mhm) and stuff that doesn't even make sense, like, what did I screw up? I don't know. I don't even know what that was referencing. Right. But it was just like, that was the mood that was there. And what I can see is like, it was inside of like making things wrong. And there was a list of like concerns and worries. I started worrying about internet connections. I started worrying about how my finances were going to go.
I started worrying about like, there was just like this whole list I like literally spiraled into. And it's interesting to have you reflect that. Cause like my brain wants to go to like, yeah, yeah, yeah. We know we're all supposed to be grateful. Right? (Cesar: Right?!) But I get that distinction and it takes, for me, willingness to actively generate and get present to what I'm really grateful for, because then like, I ended up calling my mom, telling her what I was concerned about. Calling my dad, telling him. We were going to do a family meeting and we ended up working it all out anyways. And calling my sister. And by the time I had communicated with all three of them and got all of us are on the same page and we all want the same thing, which is that we're healthy, happy, loved, and safe. And that might just look different this year. And we might need it to look different this year, but the commitment and the outcome is still the same.
And for me, that was like shifting to that same created future. And then all I'm present to right now is how grateful I am to be in a family that wants to be together so badly that it's this massive breakdown that maybe we won't. (Cesar: so great, so great) And as soon as I shifted to that, I'm aware of how many friends I have who've been very socially distant and responsible that we could drive to each other's houses that we could create something that I do have this community around me, of my other family. That's right here. Like there will be no lacking. Of my experience of celebrating the holidays no matter what happens, echooseven if it doesn't make sense for me to get on that plane. And like hearing your story specifically about food, and this is one I have to interrupt all the time.
Cause I do this for a living is also where I get way stuck in the, what I know. (Sarah: mhm) Like I know how to eat. I know what I'm supposed to do. Like I know, I know, but even I also am a human being and I get pulled. And like in my professional life, I find myself getting pulled into kind of the hot topics. And like intermittent fasting or keto, or now there's a lot of conversation about how important plant-based diets are for the environment, which matters to me.
And I even have the science behind while truly pastorally raised animals are actually very pro environment. And then if we don't eat such large quantities and a lot of where the waste in our food system goes is to all kinds of foods that most of us shouldn't be eating anyways (Cesar: mhm) and all the extra things, you know, like I know all that, but I still get trapped in it.
And yet I get all caught up in the cerebral: I should do this and I know better. And then it's like, because I'm a na-. I dunno if I could say it this way, I'm going to say what's there for me because I'm a naturopath. It's like the ultimate rebel card that I can throw to not eat healthy. Right? It's like this, like, (clap clap) whatever.
I don't tell me what to do with the level of my like profession, you know, (Cesar: right) in the world that I swim in all the time. And yet what I'm so getting out of your conversation is when I look deep down at like, what's happened, food-wise for me over this last year, it's really exactly what you said, which is I've shifted my focus where food has become a comfort, a convenience, an out for doing the work of like, okay, we've socially changed our network right now.
And I don't live with my family. And when I'm with people, I eat really healthy. Like naturally. I just do. I want to cook a particular way. It's what I'm alone. And so there's something there for me about when I'm on my own and when I'm alone, it... something, you know, and I just am looking at it from that perspective of.
Where I'm at. I'm like, I need to do this hundred items, gratitude list. Cause I'm like, I can get the challenge of it and coming up against, you know, you got to keep looking. I do remember, I've done a couple of silent meditation retreats and they're like somewhere between six and eight days. And one of the most interesting things about those retreats was eating. Like the meditating nine times a day and the like going for walks and like, okay. You know, but it was like, then here's this thing you're used to doing everyday pretty socially. And there's 90 people in a hall making a lot of clinking noises and chewing noises, but nobody's talking. And so there was actually an encouragement for us to do a gratitude prayer before we would eat, but I took it even further and I started to think through like every level of being grateful for where this raisin came from and that somebody else sweat it out in the sun to plant it, harvest it, package it, ship it, transport it, cook it, all of that for me; that I didn't have to be the one to do all those things. I mean, there's so much in most, all of our lives.
And I know lots of people live in different levels of what they experience as abundance at this point in their life. And even still like that moment of slowing down, recognizing like I have not had to farm for any of my food. I get to play at vegetables in my backyard cause I want to.
Cesar Contreras: Right. No, I love how you said that because it, when you're in that state of gratitude, the...it's almost like you see abundance newly, so for me, the biggest fear in life looking at gratitude is like, I should be grateful for what I have, (Sarah: mhm) you know, that was my whole, like growing up. It's like, you should be grateful that there's a, there's a plate of food on the table.
You should be grateful that you, even though my, my mom and dad were divorced, you should be grateful that, at least they still talk to each other and you should be grateful that, at least dad pays to help financially for mom, there's that level of gratitude, but it's almost like I should, I have to like, like, I have to be grateful for blah, blah, blah.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yep.
Cesar Contreras: This is different for me. This is like, Oh my gosh. Like if I really look... how incredibly blessed I am, you know, like what you said that you had to figure out with your parents how to deal with Christmas, how to deal with the holidays and how cool is it that you had to have that conversation to figure out how much you love each other?
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: You know?
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: It's like where you got, where you have, where you have parents, you know, that don't talk to the kids.
Sarah Marshall ND: Right.
Cesar Contreras: You know, you have kids that don't talk to their parents. You have siblings that don't talk to siblings, you know, I've experienced a little bit of all of those, (Sarah: mhm) but it's like that, that you have, you know, that you have that opportunity to quote unquote deal with, and sometimes that may not look so pleasant, but that you still have that opportunity. (Sarah: yeah) It is an opportunity, you know, it's an opportunity to connect at a new level. It's an opportunity to figure something out. And that's also been, you know, through this whole process, is that as I've, as I've shifted, how I view myself and my body, like I grew up, you know, with the, with the religious belief that my body's a temple, which I know that many other beliefs also have.
And if your body's a temple, you wouldn't defile it. But then we get numb to foods or we get numb to traditions or cultures that we just throw whatever we want into our body. And we don't consider it as that we're not taking care of our body (Sarah: mhm) or our temple. Until you really get present that your body is a temple.
It's like holy smokes. Like I would never put that in my body or I, you know, I remember, I remember probably like eight, 10 years ago, I worked, doing inside sales and the guy that, that sat next to me was a professional bodybuilder and every day... he literally like had a rotation of like three different foods and he ate them every day, religiously at the same time.
And I always looked at him. I was like, how do you do that? Like, that's so boring. Like this job they would, you know, we were down in, in South Jordan, Utah area, next to Tsunami. In fact, we'd go to Tsunami like two, three times a week to have sushi. And between seven of us, we'd just like down, like 20 rolls, you know?
I mean, it was crazy. We'd go to is it Market Street? And have like fresh fish and have these, oh my gosh. Like they would do, they just like spoiled us with food. And then there was my, my friend who just. Nope. No thanks. No thanks. No, thanks. No, thanks. I mean, obviously his context is I'm a bodybuilder. I'm going to take care of my body a certain way. And that was it. And I, for the life of me, it's like, dude, it's free. Like when you think of celebration, when you think of, of fancy dinners, when you think of status, when you think of you want to impress people, these are the places that you would go to, to go eat and you're turning it down like it's no big deal. I'm like, Oh my gosh, like I only work here because they feed me so well, you know, (Sarah laughs) and he just wouldn't and, and, and, and I couldn't understand it until I started to really get like, Oh, wait, hold on. Like, what am I, what am I feeding my body? What am I putting in my body? Like, And, and is that in line with what I already said?
My body is for me, you know, is, is, is this going to help me run my eight minute mile with my son? Or is this gonna help me, you know, be able to get up on a surfboard with my kid. Is this gonna help me be able to dance with my, with my daughters and not get tired? Because before I made that decision, I remember we went dancing out here and it was like one song.
And I was like, I can't like, I'm still tired and being a ballroom dancer, my whole life. I mean, that's like. Again, that was like, Oh my gosh, like, am I really this low in life that I can't dance one full song with my, you know, my daughters or my wife. And so it really, it started to really shift how I viewed food, and I mean, that was back, beginning of may. And you know, I was at 326 and yesterday I weighed myself. I was a 250, you know, so it's been 75 pounds. I'm about halfway to my goal of getting down to 185, because that's where I was when I was a competitive ballroom dancer. That, that, and that to me, you know, in fact, even on my phone, I don't know, you may be able to see it through Zoom, but let me clear this.
Sarah Marshall ND: We'll have to, we'll have to post it. We are an audio podcast.
Cesar Contreras: Yeah. Yeah. (Sarah laughs) But I want you to see this, so. I have a picture of me with my championship trophies as a ballroom dancer.
Sarah Marshall ND: Oh my god, I can tell the audience that is a whole half of a different human being than the man that I've known for the last four years. That's amazing.
Cesar Contreras: Yeah.
Sarah Marshall ND: If you sent me that photo and told me that was you, I wouldn't believe you to be honest. I wouldn't even like, I'd have to look to actually get. Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: Which, which is crazy because obviously I have friends that knew me as that.
Sarah Marshall ND: Right.
Cesar Contreras: And then I have a lot of friends that would have no idea, that that's me. And that was another thing Sarah, that I think made a big difference is as I started this plan and as I started to results, obviously that was encouraging.
It kept me on track. And I was like, Oh my gosh, it's working. (Sarah: yep) And I'm eating healthy. I'm eating six times a day. I have a coach that I, you know, holds me accountable, blah, blah, blah. But then it was hearing my, my kids. Dad, you're so skinny. And then just like what you just said, it, it, it clicked. They had never seen me this skinny before.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: My children have never seen me the skinny.
When I got like, Holy smokes, my kids. Oh my gosh. My kids had never seen me the skinny, no wonder. They're just like so surprised. And now they're super supportive and they're like, dad, you know, like it's that to me has been the most rewarding thing is (Sarah: yeah) that they can put their arms around me, like completely around me.
Like, it's not like a, you know, that they keep saying Dad, Oh my gosh, I can't believe how skinny you are. Are you still gonna lose more weight? Well, I got a ways to go. I was like, what? Cause to them (Sarah: yeah) it just didn't click like that. At one point I was that skinny, even though they see pictures at whatnot, but, so I loved your reaction because it is just how, how my kids have been with me. It's like, Oh my gosh. (Sarah laughs) For real?
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: So that's been fun.
Sarah Marshall ND: That's awesome. And I love. Look like I am an expert in a lot of diets and I'm actually reading a book right now that gets into, it's called the four seasons solution by Dallas Hartwig. And he is one of the coauthors of the Whole 30, which is one of the most prominent paleo challenges, 30 day challenges to reset to a very whole-foods-based, paleo-based diet.
And in the section that I was just recently reading, he's talking about how. If you look, actually Keto has a place and paleo has a place and intermittent fasting has a place. And even all plant-based, no animal proteins and the way he kind of lays it out as in the seasons and yeah. That's a whole nother podcast of like how keto fits our winter metabolism and how high-vegetable, low-protein fits our summer metabolism or spring metabolism.
There's like actually based on if we were truly hunter-gatherers, like following our way around, But what I've seen clinically and therapeutically is the diet that works is the one you stick to. Like almost entirely. And there is a difference between a therapeutic diet or a diet to lose the weight. And then there's life when you're at your ideal weight.
And those become two different games, but is like, again, I feel I'm only qualified to say this because I'm a clinician and I've helped other people do it, but not from my own experience personally, but is like, I really think we don't want it to be that simple. And I know there are people out there that have very specific medical conditions (Cesar: sure) that make weight loss incredibly challenging, and that's that own their own category (Cesar: mhm) right? But for most people, you know, even myself included, I can get caught up in that like, oh, but this diet, really doesn't work or that thing's been debunked. And I will entertain my brain with all of the rhetoric and all of the pushback about the different things versus like, I know what works. And that's actually my favorite thing about reading this book is it's been just regrounding me.
So, you know, I was raised vegetarian. And I started eating meat when I went to naturopathic school when I was 25 and it was all for health reasons, but interestingly enough, I'd always had this like squish factor. I'm athletic, so I could quote get away with it. There's my justification. (Cesar: right) Right. And I could always do the things I wanted to do physically, but my body shape had always just had this kind of, which I now know is like hyper cortisol state from the amount of carbohydrates I was eating.
And I didn't actually have a balanced vegetarian diet in college. So when I'm 25, I changed my diet. And for the very beginning of that, I was very strict, full paleo. And I went down to about 125 pounds, which for me now would be too low. But it was interesting because the way that I did it is I ate a high protein breakfast every day.
Like I literally would eat like three or four sausage links or a bunch of bacon and eggs and vegetables cooked in oil. And then I would eat a little less calories, but basically the same thing for lunch. And then I'd eat like a salad and protein for dinner. And I had a very calorie heavy morning with lots of protein and I was eating every two to three hours all day long.
Like I had broke it up and somehow I have gotten my brain convinced that like, if I wait as long as possible during the day to start eating, I'm saving myself calories. And I know that's not the case. Like I literally know it. And so just reading this book has just been like, alright dude, like really this doesn't have to be complicated.
And one of the things I'll underscore that he put, and this is like in the world of a, how to, for people who are listening. There's a lot of studies have shown that people who increase their protein alone, their animal protein, particularly earlier in the day will just naturally eat less calories overall.
So like, if there's like one single change, and this is actually something I've been, I've said in other episodes, but I'll say it again is like, When I work with new clients, just in changing their diet for their health, you know, I am always a stand inside, especially since most of my clients come to me with chronic illnesses and a lot of other things going on, biochemically, you know, I stay inside of we're going to just have your body be nutritionally balanced, and it's going to decide what shape it wants to be. Like. It will find its natural shape healthfully, but I do this thing where I'm like, I want you to eat six ounces of protein at every meal, eat every two and a half hours and eat six cups of vegetables a day and a gallon of water.
And you can eat anything else you want. There's not a lot of room for anything else, (Cesar: right, right) and we've actually gotten really good, healthy protein, without other things, it does shift the energetic pathways. And like, I can even see the places where I've started to trick myself out a little bit about what I know works for my physiology, because I've gotten into the conversation of like, okay, I am really concerned about the state of the health of our environment and what we're doing.
And I'm crystal clear what industrial farming is contributing to our greenhouse gases and the reduction of land that we have for forests and for wildlife habitat. So I've been questioning. And maybe there are people out there that have found a really healthy balance of a vegetarian diet, but for my personal physiology, it's not the answer. (Cesar: mhm)
So I actually do the work. Like I just got a delivery of 40 pounds of steelhead and salmon from a fishing collective in Bristol Bay, Alaska. And then I still have half of a side of beef that I got from, some friends that have a family farm in Idaho that's all grass fed and free range, and I know what they do to the animals.
And I know the family personally, so I get to economically invest in that family as well. And, you know, and then the place that I still have work to do is to have poultry and pork kind of sorted out at that same level, but I buy organic and it could be a lot better than that, (Cesar: yeah) but it's like shifting those kinds of things to make that work for me at all levels, socially and environmentally. But it's just funny to me to just like revisit that we don't want it to be so simple. Our brains are going to work really hard at justifying why it won't work or the changes. And like, you know, we could get into like, how'd do it? But I love that much of the conversation is been. That shift in your attitude and working towards that.
I also think working towards that created future is really critical. (Cesar: mhm)
Cesar Contreras: Oh, absolutely. And you know, I'm so glad that you said that because what was funny is when I started, you know, Joanna also started her version of her plan.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: And, so she's, you know, we've done keto in the past and I love Keto.
but what was interesting is. She started doing her version of Keto. I started doing my plan with my coach (Sarah: yep) and two weeks in, I lost like 15, 17 pounds and she lost like one and it's not always about the weight.
Sarah Marshall ND: Right.
Cesar Contreras: But that's kind of like the first thing we look (Sarah laughs) at as a, as a result of (Sarah: yeah) is, is the work starting to make a difference as you know, it's just, it's, it's just a statistic, right?
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: And when she saw my statistic compared to her result or her statistic on the scale, I could see the frustration arise. So I basically said, Hey, would you like to try this plan with me? You know? And as she, she's sure, she said, okay, we'll make it work. So we made it work and, you know, she's, she's not lost 35, 40 pounds. (Sarah: awesome)
And, you know, it's just so doing something together as also made a big difference for us. (Sarah: yeah, yeah) keeping it simple has been, has been really, really, you know, a big key, but. For both of us. I know that she'd say the same is what you just said is why are we doing it? What's the future we're living into that way? Like, how does it feel to have already attained that, that, that goal? (Sarah: yeah) So now Joanne is actually coaching people and she's certified to. Health coach, if you will.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: The biggest challenge that we hear from people is how do I emotionally detached myself from food, especially with Latinos, which everything revolves around food.
You know, you go to you go to someone's house and it's like, if you turn down dinner, all of a sudden they write you off forever because it's like considered offensive and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I can't go to my auntie's house because they're going to have food that, you know, they're going to have cake and if I don't eat it, Auntie's going to get mad at me and so when we started this plan, our neighbors, it was like the week after it was Mother's Day and they had this whole full Hawaiian spread we were like, oh my gosh, food. But it's amazing. You know, like when you're, when you're really connected to why you're doing it, you know, saying no becomes natural and not saying no to be offended, but, you know, I'm working towards a very important goal.
And so I'm going to take some of this, which fits what I'm trying to accomplish. And what was funny was you know, that was Mother's Day, then like two weeks later it was a birthday and then two weeks later it was Father's Day. And then two weeks later was another birthday. And then the 4th of July, and by the time we got to the 4th of July, we're happy, you know, we, we show up at our neighbor's house and it's like, this is for you guys, not this.
Sarah Marshall ND: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Right right.
Cesar Contreras: Because they had seen the results, they had seen that, that we were up to something and our environment started to shift.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: Without us really having to say anything or do anything. It just be, it just started to happen because we got to show what we were really committed to.
And I've seen that everywhere, you know, in my life right now. It's it's what am I grateful for? What am I living into? Like what, why am I doing it? And then trusting that God and the universe is going to, like, as long as I take the actions that it's going to happen. (Sarah: yeah) And it has been. I mean, Sarah I've tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and failed and tried and failed and tried and failed and tried and failed and try and try to lose weight for the last 10, 15 years.
I was told, Hey, Cesar, if you lost weight, you would inspire so many people. And on the spiritual side of things, you know, I know we talked a little bit ago about body being a temple, but it's like if my soul is inside my body, I really want to give my soul that connection spiritually, the opportunity to have the most sanctified space possible.
I got to share my story with one person and that my story is somehow in some ways, some form had them think about how they. How they took care of themselves and how they took care of their family and how they take care of, you know, the people they love or that they could now just look at life newly and being grateful and, you know, liberating themselves from what's holding them captive, right?
But I'll tell you, you know, why liberate the captive? Let me, let me show you where that was actually born. Let me find it. it's a verse of Scripture that if I may read (Sarah: yes) so it says, "But before you seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after you have obtained a hope in Christ, you shall obtain riches. If you seek them and you will seek them for the intent to do good, to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted."
Sarah Marshall ND: Liberate the captive.
Cesar Contreras: And that's, you know, what's your mission, I guess, would be the last thing that I would say to people is what's your life for?
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: I just want to liberate people because I felt like I was kept there for so long trying to please people, please others. Trying to receive that acknowledgement from people, which is all fine. There's nothing unworthy about any of that, but it definitely hasn't been as fulfilling as it has been the last few months, just actually like doing it from a space of gratitude and love (Sarah: mhm) that for me has been by far the most, The missing ingredient of it all is that gratitude. And that love, that I'm not alone, that, you know, there's so many people out there in the world that are dealing with stuff.
Sarah Marshall ND: You can have all your attention out here trying to make that happen. But when it's like, whatever the analogy, if the, if the light, if the source isn't coming from inside you, which means including you, (Cesar: mhm) your filled up and then overflowing and beaming out.
And I know that's where, and I've had times when that's very much been the case. And then I have times when it's not so much, like, as I've shared on this podcast a lot, which you don't know as much about, but my audience does is having (Cesar: yeah) had chronic fatigue syndrome diagnosed this summer. And it's been a massive shift for me, who's used to doing so much out in the world to make things happen. And it's like one of the many lessons I'm getting from this condition is having to reorganize how I define myself worth. That it gets to look different and, and also to, you know, have my life be more visibly imperfect than I've ever been willing to do before. To like let it, you know, like even inside this, like, I, this podcast has been interesting, cause like I've had so many moments where I want to justify something in my own clinical practice, helping people through a weight loss journey has actually been one of my more challenging things.
I have had more luck curing autoimmune disease and reading people have like fibromyalgia and all sorts of major conditions. And for some reason there's something which is my own work too. Cause like I, and maybe it's as simple as it hasn't been my journey. Whereas some of these other conditions have, you know, and, (Cesar: yeah) and I there's people out there, but I also think there's places where I've let myself get caught up in the clinical rhetoric versus knowing my heartfelt truth.
Which is , and this is a belief not coming from me as a doctor, but me, Sarah (Cesar: sure) human being is like, I truly believe that the root of our body shape is reflective of self-love.
Cesar Contreras: I agree a thousand percent with your belief.
Sarah Marshall ND: And I have often not been willing to stand for that with people. I back down. And I think that's where I've had challenges in being somebody's coach and supporting them is like with me in particular, we go hunting for the biochemical and the hormonal reasons, which are sometimes important and critical.
Cause I do more often get people who come to me already having done some pretty spectacular diets and they've gotten limited results. (Cesar: yeah) And so then the question becomes. Is it my hormones, is there something else going on? And we can look there. And sometimes we get 15%, 20%. Like we get somewhere with that.
And yet I keep in the fifteen years of my practice coming back for myself and for my clients to the basics, eat protein at breakfast, eat frequently throughout the day, stay ahead of it, you know, those kinds of components. And like we could get in again into the how-tos, but the root so often comes down to our view about ourselves and our willingness to love ourselves and be kind, and I think (Cesar: yeah) even what I deal with.
Cesar Contreras: And can I, can I say something about that? Because I think it's so true because being, you know, the picture I showed you of me holding trophies. You know, that to me was one of the highlights of my career, dancing.
I had one, my partner and I had one what's called attendance championship at a competition down at BYU, which is awesome. It was a dream of ours. And, you know, we worked so tirelessly for it and who I was for myself was a champion in that moment. (Sarah: mmm) And I was getting a lot of attention. I was getting, you know, that's who I was for other people.
That's who they knew me as oh Cesar, ballroom dancer, really good ballroom dancer, good person, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When I started to gain weight that no longer became who I was. And I had, you know, being someone and I think this will tie into a lot of things we talked about today, but being someone that seeked exterior recognition for, for me to be, fulfilled or to be acknowledged that I matter when I stopped getting attention for the ballroom dancer that I was, and I started to get attention for Oh shoot. Like you're big. It was interesting because my mind or the way that I perceived it was, I don't like how that feels per se. I remember the first time, someone saw me after a couple of years, and they're like, Whoa, did... you're fat. Like what happened? I was like, Whoa. I should be offended right now or something, you know, but part of me was like, at least you remembered who I was. (chuckles)
I got attention. (Sarah: mhm) And one of the things that I've been distinguishing recently is I continue to get recognition, even though it was negative recognition, it still was recognition.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: And then it became a. I've known. I'm no longer that ballroom dancer that I once was. If I lose the weight, will I get recognition of some kind? And deep down inside is like, no, it's easier to get recognition this way than to go work hard for it and see what's on the other side.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: And it kept me stuck in that world. You know, we talk about the vicious cycle. It was that vicious cycle. Because look, we all know that we should eat a certain way. We all know we should exercise a certain way. So why is it so hard for so many people? Like, it was so hard for me for so long until I, I don't, I don't claim to say that I have like the, the, the answer to the secret.
I just know what worked for me was I, I, I. I started being grateful. I started being grateful and again, it's so simple. It's like mind blowing, but I just started being grateful for who I am. I started being grateful for what I have around me, started being grateful for the life I've been blessed to have, that I woke up this morning, (Sarah: mhm) you know, like that I have kids that are healthy.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: We all want to have abundance in our lives, but what if we already do. And we just haven't experienced it.
Sarah Marshall ND: Yeah.
Cesar Contreras: What if we were willing to stop and experience the abundance that we already have? (Sarah: mhm)
Sarah Marshall ND: Good. (Cesar laughs) I am grateful for you and I'm grateful to get to be the first podcast that gets the Cesar Contrera story. It's (Cesar: Oh I'm so grateful to you.) wonderful and it's going to make a difference for people out there and thank you for just your generous heart and putting yourself out there and, and telling the story because that's what makes the difference for all of us when we can get even pieces of ourselves and others.
You know, that's more of that, the light coming from inside of us, going out and beaming out into, you know, healing, the world, healing the planet. So thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing your amazing story.
Cesar Contreras: Can I finish with this? (Sarah: yes) How grateful I am to you? And, you know, I mean, I know for a long time, we, we got to call each other buddies in, in a different world, (Sarah: uh-huh) but you will never know how much those phone calls made a difference for me. Nothing but love for you.
Sarah Marshall ND: You too.
Cesar Contreras: Lots of love.
Sarah Marshall ND: Awesome.
Cesar Contreras: All right. Well until next time.
Sarah Marshall ND: Thank you to today's guest Cesar Contreras for his profound message of gratitude and light. Are you ready to take on your own health? I'm now accepting new clients for 2021. It's typical for me to be full by mid-spring. So contact me now at Sarah MarshallND.com or on Instagram at @SarahMarshallND. For a full transcript and all the resources for today's show, visit SarahMarshallND.com/podcast.
Sarah Marshall ND: Thank you for listening. Support and spread the word by leaving us a review on your favorite platform. So we can heal our world. And a special thanks as always to our music, composer, Roddy Nikpour and our editor Kendra Vicken. We'll see you next time.